My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
