I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You are a genius and a whore.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
