just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
