My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Text me some of your sweat
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
