I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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