okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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