apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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