**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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