It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
