found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
