he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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