nut hugger
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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