Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
