Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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