he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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