just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
