Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
