some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
