I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
