OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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