i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
