Sponge bath it is.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
