Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
