SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
