Non-Jews are for practice
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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