Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
