you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
