also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize