We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
