He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i think my cat just said my name.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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