rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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