Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
