I'm gonna have a badass scar
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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