i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
