I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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