We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
