chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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