in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize