These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
