I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
then he tried to convert me to islam
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
