i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
