My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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