I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
