Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
