Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
