I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
