so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have aggressive nipples.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
