You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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