Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
