The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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