This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize