Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
