Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
