ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
