So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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