I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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