Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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