thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
