The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
