just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
