i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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